I wish you all the three and more…

Faith makes all things possible….. Hope makes all things work… Love makes all things beautiful… I wish you all the three and more!

A Poem For Spring

“Spring is here! Spring is here!”, my eight year old son was so happy to announced to everyone of us at the dinning table. I told him that I know a poem from my childhood that I memorized for my class project. He asked me what it was and I told him that it’s about daffodils. Then it dawned on me that I have forgotten it entirely. Ha! I have to look it up. I can still remember William Wordsworth very much. He was introduced to our high school literature class. I even said to myself that his last name suits him for a poets “words” should be “worthy”.

So, it’s the first day of spring and I found my childhood poem. Here it is! It’s called…

“Daffodils”      

I wander’d lonely as a cloud

That floats on high o’er vales and hills,

When all at once I saw a crowd,

A host, of golden daffodils;

Beside the lake, beneath the trees,

Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine

And twinkle on the Milky Way,

They stretch’d in never-ending line

Along the margin of a bay:

Ten thousand saw I at a glance,

Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they

Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:

A poet could not but be gay,

In such a jocund company:

I gazed — and gazed — but little thought

What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie

In vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye

Which is the bliss of solitude;

And then my heart with pleasure fills,

And dances with the daffodils.  

By William Wordsworth (1770-1850). 

And I Thought I Had It Bad

Rita is 38 weeks pregnant when she crashed her car against an SUV one rainy night. She was rushed to the ER with a ruptured abdomen, a broken rib and a shin bone. It was not a good site. She was literaly broken up into pieces. They tried to save her baby but the trauma was too much for the little fellow. He didn’t make it.

Rita was rush to us in the OR bleeding to her death. Her adomen open. The source of the bleeding has to be found to stop it. 80 units of packed Red Blood Cells had to be given to her one after the other to save her life. If you will ask me, it’s a miracle that she was still breathing.

The medical team had to fix her up good if they want her to survive but everything has it’s limits. They had to take her ruptured pancreas out and they had to take her uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries too. Rita is only 25. It was her first baby and it will be her last. She was brought to the ICU after the five surgical procedures she had. I prayed that she will make it.

The sight of her stayed with me for days. The thought of her being so young and going through all these still occupy my thoughts. At times I wonder if she made or not. It’s another reminder for me that I should cherish life more. I should love more… and to think, with all my problems now, I thought I had it bad.

20 Things

Twenty Things to Remember (From my friend Lota)

01. Faith is the ability to not panic.

02. If you worry, you didn’t pray. If you prayed, don’t worry.

03. As a child of God, prayer is kinda like calling home evryday.

04. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

05. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so he can untangle us.

06. Do the math. Count your blessings.

07. God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.

08. Dear God: I have a problem. It’s me.

09. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.

10. Laugh every day — it’s like inner kogging.

11. People. The most important things in your home.

12. Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

13. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open. Come on in.

14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.

15. He who dies with most toys is still dead.

16. We do not remember days but moments. Lifes moves too fast so enjoy your moments.
17.  Nothing is real to you until you experience it; otherwise it’s just hearsay.  

18. It’s all right to sit on your “pity pot” every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.   

19. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage. Thw goals and dreams you’re seeking requires courage and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle, it only makes progress when it stick out it’s neck.

20. Be more concern with your character than your reputation. Your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what other thinks you are.      

It’s NEW YEAR again!

I always look forward to the New Year. It’s very exciting because I’m reminded that everyone is given a fresh start — “done with the old, start with the new”. For me, it’s a good time to shake off last year’s negative vibes.

Almost everybody I know starts making plans once more. People have new goals or add new goals to their old list. Other people make their “to do list” longer and some other makes the usual resolutions. You know, the usual, “I’ll stop smoking, I’ll loose weight, I’ll save more”.

I’m not a fan of resolutions. I find it a clich’ed to hear people say this but then, even if these resolutions don’t get realized, at least, these people attempted to make something better in their lives. Unlike me, I just do nothing for myself year after year.

As I was sitting in the car on the way home from a New Year’s Eve Party, this thought struck me. It’s another year and I haven’t done anything good for myself in many, many years. I’ve been too involved with my job, my home chores and my money. These are important but too much can kill you at times.

So, I told myself that I will stop everything that makes me run like a chicken without a head. So, this year…

I WILL SIT DOWN.

I WILL TAKE IT EASY.

I WILL RELAX MORE.

DEEP BREATH MORE.

MEDITATE MORE.

GET IN-TOUCH WITH MYSELF MORE.

GET IN-TOUCH WITH MY FRIENDS MORE.

Even if I will have to down size my expenses and my appointments. I will give time for myself and for my family. I will appreciate more things and appreciate them better. I will enjoy what I can for what’s the use of material things if you are physically, mentally and spiritually unhealthy.

This time I’m more excited for the New Year.

If you see…

… a 38 year-old man with gastric cancer

… a 4 year-old boy beaten to a pulp

… a young mother mother who just lost her 17 year-old daugther because of drunk  driving

… a 20 year-old male stabbed by his own brother

… a 25 year-old female who lost her uterus through a motor vehicular accident

 Won’t you count your blessings?

I pray for my patients and I give thanks for my blessings.

I try to everyday, even if I want to wring my children’s neck at times because they drive me nuts. Even when  my co-workers pissed me off because they won’t play like a team and even when I have a big screaming duel with my husband. I still love them all – my, family and my co-workers… and I count my blessings.

Even when my credit is wacked or when I crashed the car to the garage door or even when I heared one of my long time girlfriends making up stories about me behind my back. I close my eyes… and I count my blessings.

There are days I feel alone. Some days I’m so tired. I feel my efforts are in vain. Nobody listens because everyone is occupied with their own world. I accept that this world is not all about me… I count my blessings.

My problems may seem big for me but when I look around some people are in a worst situations. I still have a lot to thank for, too many to mention… and I give thanks for my blessings.

Loving Tuesdays

I dread Mondays like everybodyelse. The crazed commotion of the start of the week drives me nuts. It reminds me that my very short weekend is gone and I have to go back to “reality”.  On the other hand, I’m loving Tuesdays. Yes! I look forward now to getting my two younger kids from school and bringging them to the library every Tuesdays. That’s our new special place. For an hour or two (sometimes more) we can get lost in our own worlds and we get to choose what world it will be. We can do time travel or be in another person’s shoes. Then the best part of the afternoon is when we share and talk to each other about what we read. Sometimes we tell jokes and tell stories on the way home. Times like these absolutely beat crazy Mondays!    

Learning from “Ms.” Adventures

I found my old diary and I read some pages from it. I found this entry that I’d like to share again. It’s about some of the stuff I learned when I first became a “Ms”.

“First, I was married for seven years to my first husband. Seven years! Seven short and long years, depends on how you look at it. It was a climb from love to rejection and I’m glad I survived and came out alive. I learned a lot during that time and made a lot of discovery about myself and of others around me. Here it goes…

1. ‘You can never give what you do not have.’ After this, I never expected any individual to love the way I love or to learn the way I learn. SOme people are just not equipped to love or learn because they simply don’t want to.

2. ‘Change starts within us.’ Not with others. It’s good to know that some things do change, some things do not. Just pray to know and accept the difference.

3. ‘Do not expect people to understand you because you have a problem.’ Many will help but some will insist that you change overnight. I was a hard time but I taught myself to watch out for them. Then I found those who are willing to stand by you all the way.

4. ‘Cry if you must.’ A very salty but therapeutic activity but everyone will agree that releasing your emotions is a good balancing act for the homeostasis.

5. ‘Keep the channels open.’ Absorb all the positive energy you can. I got mine from a friend’s hearty laughter, an enthusiastic co-worker, a warm motherly individual and from my innocent children full of fantasy and dreams. I was definitely lucky to have my children around to give me the later energy.

6. ‘Reach out for a hand, an ear, a shoulder.’  There’s nothing like a “true-blue” friend during this time of adversity. Again, I’m thankful I have such friends a round me.

7. ‘Get on your knees and pray.’ Asking God to help you carry your load rather than asking Him why He let it happen to you is more effective. Do not overload your conscience. If people are upsetting, ask for guidance. It these people are fortunate, they will learn what you mean in their own time.

8. ‘Use the power of the big Cs — Calm, Clean, Collected.’ Keep yourself calm after the storm, it will help you survive the rigors of being alone.  Keep yourself clean, it will help you move on with confidence and with a tidy conscience.  Keep yourself collected, it will give you the power of concentration and effectivity. After all this you will be in-charge.

9. ‘Let yourself flow naturally to forgiveness & acceptance.’ This has been the hardest of the rules by far. But relax! Give yourself time and space. I know there’s nothing like a woman scorned. Remember to keep that critical mind working. Be realistic rather than emotional. Allow the feelings to run deep but let it go out of your system. The last part of your grieving process is always acceptance. It will happen when you allow it to.

10. ‘Be patient’.  Another hard rule. The author Og Mandino once wrote, ’God’s delays are never God’s denials.’ When a door closes another one will open or we can always use the fire escape.

11. ‘Feel great. Look great. Do great.’. There are so many things to be thankful  for inspite of the odds. It was so weird but I had to sit down and list down my blessing. I found out I have so many good things going on in my life. The first three on my list are: my  kids, my friends and my senses. Don’t forget to look great! No one is created repulsive unless he acts and thinks it. As we were thought in Sunday school — God has created us after his image. Do great! We don’t have to be a super hero. We you touch lives in your small simple ways – Greatness is there. Just like when you smile 2 seconds longer than the person who smiled at you because the smile was sincere.

12. ‘Some things won’t come your way if you don’t need them.’ I learned several new skills during my pursuit for acceptance. I met new friends and went to new places. I even went back to the places I avoided because they remind me of my failures. I even learned to listen to love songs again. After all, Shakespear said, ‘ It’s better to have love than lost than never to have loved at all.’

It’s been an animated year. I know I have more to challenges to deal with. Maybe I really needed this experience to grow and get better. With this I end by saying… my “Ms.” Adventures showed showed me that failure in not the falling down but the staying down. 

After rereading my entry I felt great. I fell a lot after that year and I know I’ll fall again but I will never stay down. I will always find a way to get up. Happy Birthday to me!

“Cranies”

Part of my jobs as a trauma nurse is assissting in craniotomies. Craniotomies have never been amazing in my life. I know that they’re one hell of a procedure to do to save one’s life but they never have been interesting to me. Neurology was never a favorite of mine not even in nursing school. Maybe because I never gave it a good look in my twenty years of practice. Both patients and doctors are too complicated for me as a nurse. Besides, I find brain surgeons too wrapped up in their successes but I can’t deny that most of them are brilliant. Still, I can’t say that I like doing “cranies” now. I’m thankful that I’ve helped patients who needed this surgery before. I know I will have to do more in the future but somethings are just not for me. I guess, Neurology is one of them!

Credenda

I found something wonderful in my journal today! My friend Noemi gave it to me when we were in college. It was a hadwritten note on a pink sheet. I loved it and always kept it in between my notes and later retyped it and saved it with my digital journals. It also started my love for Ogmandino’s books. My favorite so far is still “The Gift Of Acabar” where this poem came from. Today, I’d like to share it with you and received the gift that Acabar offered me years ago when I read the book for the first time. 

 

 

CREDENDA

(From THE GIFT OF ACABAR)

OG MANDINO 

Turn away from the crowd and its fruitless pursuit of fame and gold. Never look back as you close your door to the sorry tumult of greed and ambition. Wipe away your tears of failure and misfortune. Lay aside your heavy load and rest   until your heart is still. Be at peace. Already it is later than you think, for your earthly life, at best, is only the blink of an eye between two eternities. Be unafraid. Nothing here can harm you except yourself. Do that which you dread and cherish those victories with pride. Concentrate your     energy. To be everywhere is to be nowhere. Be jealous of your time, since it is your greatest treasure. Reconsider your goals. Before you set your heart too much on anything, examine how happy they are who already possess what you desire. Love your family and count your blessings. Reflect on how eagerly they would be sought if you did not have them. Put aside your impossible dreams and complete the task at hand no matter how distasteful. All great achievements come from working and waiting. Be patient. God’s delays are never God’s denials. Hold in. Hold fast. Know that your paymaster is always near. What you sow, good or evil that you will reap. Never blame your condition on others. You are what you are through your choice alone. Learn to live with honest poverty alone, if you must, and turn to more important matters than transporting gold to your grave. Never meet trouble halfway. Anxiety is the rust of life; when you add tomorrow’s burdens to today’s their   weight becomes unbearable. Avoid the mourner’s bench and give thanks, instead, for your defeats. You would not receive them if you did not need them. Always learn from others. He who teaches himself has a fool for a master. Be careful. Do not overload your conscience. Conduct your life as if it were spent in an arena filled with tattlers. Avoid boasting. If you see anything in you that puffs you with pride look closer and you will find more than enough to make you humble. Be wise. Realize that men are not created equal, for there is no equality in nature, yet no man was ever born whose work was not born with him. Work everyday as if it were your first, yet tenderly treat the lives you touch as if they will all end at midnight. Love everyone, even those who deny you, for hate is a luxury you cannot afford. Seek out those in need. Learn that he who delivers with one hand will always gather with two. Be a good cheer. Above all, remember that very little is needed to make a happy life. Look up.  Reach out. Cling simply to God and journey quietly on your pathway to forever with charity and a smile. When you depart it will be said by all that your legacy was a better world than the one you found.